Alexa leaned against the hard wood of the TARDIS door. Heavy sobs tore through her and nothing could comfort her at the loss of Severus. She pushed away Sam, Remus, Hatter, and Dodo all the same. There was nothing that any of them could do. And so they all retreated to locations that seemed safe or sensible throughout the TARDIS.
Dodo sat on the stairs that lead up to the console, keeping and ever watchful eye on Alexa. Even as he slept he watched her. He just hoped that he could be there for her whenever she finally let people back in. But until that moment, that second when she was finally free of this grief, he was sit patiently and watch.
Sam retreated far into the depths of the TARDIS in an attempt to avoid everyone. Seeing Alexa like that was hard on her. Seeing anyone she cared about like that was hard on her. And she and that misery were very well acquainted.
After checking daily on her friend, Sam would head into the simulated sun room that the Blue Box had created within itself. It was the only place that she felt peaceful any more. She could watch the sun rise and set and watch as the moon took its place in the sky. And she was alone with her thoughts.
Remus took over as the domestic in Alexa’s mental absence. He cleaned, careful of the console after hearing about how it broke before his tenure on the vessel. He cooked, although Hatter was the only one who seemed to come to dinner. He tried to keep things comfortable for everyone. All of this was just an attempt to lose himself though.
And Hatter made the library his dwelling for the most part. He searched and searched through every book he came across for something that would help him ease the pain of his friends. Unlike the others though, he remained lively. Or, rather, as lively as one can when living with such a miserable bunch.
Life in the TARDIS had become static.
Sam sat in her pajamas—black and white plaid bottoms with a black tank—as she watched an artificial sun rise. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and her arms were wrapped around them. Her dark, normally neat-ish hair was in a messy bun and her face was clear of all make up.
She let out a gentle sigh and let her gaze fall away from the light streaming in. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Especially, as she had come to see things, if they weren’t real.
Remus and Hatter padded into the room, sitting on either side of her.
“Hi.” Sam mumbled through her sleeve.
“Sam, love, you have to get out of here. We haven’t seen you in a few says.” Hatter said, putting a hand soothingly on her back. She tensed at his touch.
“He’s right.” Remus said.
“You would side with each other. You would try and make this easier for me.” Sam snapped, sitting up straight. Her eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying.
Remus and Hatter looked at each other, concerned and worried about their girl.
“Sam, we don’t understand. What’s wrong?” Remus said, trying to get her to look at him.
“What’s wrong?” Sam repeated, squinting her eyes in momentary disbelief.
“This,” she said. “this is what’s wrong. You too. This isn’t real. You aren’t real. You can’t be. This isn’t real. None of this…” she let out a shuttering sigh.
“This is real, love. Both of us are right here with you.” Hatter said, still not understanding what she meant.
“But’s it’s not. Not where I come from. Not where Alexa and I come from. You guys are just stories. And we were selfish about you. We couldn’t pick. We had to have both. And then we disappeared. We left you.
“But we just had to come back. We had to see you again. We had to be with you. And look where that’s gotten us. Severus is dead. You guys have to share me. And this isn’t fair. This isn’t fair to any of us.” Sam said through her sobs, standing so that she could look at the pair of them. “You don’t deserve this. You both don’t deserve this. And neither did Severus and Dodo. And if this were to continue, I’d rather—“
“Stop!” Remus shouted at Sam’s hysterics. “Listen. Listen to me. Sam,” Remus looked at Hatter for reassurance. “We love you. We’re happy sharing you. And yeah, maybe this isn’t the best situation. And yes, a day never goes by where I—we—don’t wish that we could have you too ourselves but we make do. We love the time we get to spend with you.”
Remus stood up and took Sam’s hands.
“I love you.” He whispered to her, kissing her forehead.
A small smile cracked upon her lips but quickly faded. She shook her head and pushed him away.
“No.” she said, backing away from the guys.
Hatter stood from his seat and stood beside Remus.
“Sam, stop. There is nothing that you can do that can change how we feel but if you leave, if you run off, there is nothing but hurt for you. You need to get better. You need to get better for yourself. For Alexa. For us.
“Without your bright smile and level head around,” Hatter said. “We’re doomed.”
Sam stopped short of the door. Tears burned her eyes and she wiped away stray tears with her sleeve. She tuned to face them.
“Samantha.” They said in unison.
Sam went running into their open arms.
“I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m so, so, so sorry. You deserve so much better than me. You both give me so much and I have given you nothing in return.”
“We’ll discuss that, and how wrong you are later.” Hatter said.
“Now, lets go to the kitchen. Some chocolate will do you good.” Remus said with a smile.