Weeks passed in the same tense silence amongst the group. The only time that they were all together was to watch a movie, upon the girl’s request. Remus and Hatter were almost always at Sam’s side, they’d found little ways to get a long to share their love. Meanwhile, Dodo and Severus were hardly ever in the same place for very long. They took their turn with her and when it wasn’t their turn, they made themselves scarce.
Sam and Alexa were sitting on the steps, alone, for once. “So, how are things now?” asked Sam.
“Better,” Alexa said with a smile. “I mean, they are never together. Severus is having a much harder time adjusting than Dodo is,” said Alexa.
“I can understand that, though. I mean, he’s always had you all to his self. Before you and Dodo weren’t as together as you are now,” Sam said.
Alexa nodded. “Yeah. Severus feels that I taught him how to love. And that very well maybe true. But Dodo taught me how to love. It was different with him. It was slower. Of course there was the initial attraction. I mean, he is Tim Fucking Curry,” she whispered, “but for me it took work. And it was just different.” She paused and pulled the sleeves of her cashmere cardigan into her palms. “What about you?”
“It’s perfect,” She said beaming. “It’s better than I could have ever expected. They get along perfectly,” Sam said.
“They certainly share well,” Alexa teased. “Really, though, I’m happy for you.”
Somewhere in the ship Hatter was calling Sam’s name. “I’m here,” She called out. The answer sounded something like ‘Do you want to see a film?’ or something like that at least. The TARDIS was very large. Sam looked back at her friend, she looked apologetic.
“Go. Have fun. I want to find Severus before I make dinner anyway,” Alexa said. She waved her friend off. Sam grinned and hugged Alexa.
“Alright, don’t work too hard,” Sam reminded her friend. “This is supposed to be an adventure!” She called from the door.
Alexa got up and wandered through the hall until she came to Severus’ room. She knocked on the door gently but there was no answer. As silently as possible, Alexa snuck in. Severus was curled up in his bed, asleep. Alexa sat down next to him and brushed a few strands of his hair off of his face. He didn’t stir. Alexa smiled a soft smile and laid down beside him.
One of his cool black eyes opened and he saw her beside him. Severus reached an arm out and pulled her in against him. “Hello,” She whispered.
“Hello,” he said just as softly.
“I didn’t mean to wake you. You just looked so peaceful. I wanted to join you,” She said snuggling against him. He smiled and kissed the top of her head.
“I miss having you all to myself,” Severus admitted after a few moments of peaceful silence. She closed her eyes, feeling the full impact of his words. “I-I don’t share well,” he said softly.
Alexa grimaced and was thankful that he couldn’t see her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered because she didn’t know what else to say. She was being selfish because she couldn’t make the choice. It was cruel. “I just- I’m sorry, Severus. You don’t deserve this,” she told him. Severus didn’t answer. “Can we just go back to sleep?” She asked softly.
“Of course,” he said.
The following day Alexa was in the kitchen with Dodo, Sam, and Hatter. Severus was standing just outside one of the doors, listening to them. Alexa was perched up on the counter beside Sam. Dodo stood in front of Alexa and Hatter leaned on the counter in between Sam and Alexa. They were all laughing. “There is never a time to not have pie,” Alexa said.
“Pie is delicious,” Hatter added.
“Cheesecake too,” Sam said lustfully. Dodo nodded and raised his glass to her.
“Alright,” Alexa said to Hatter, “I guess that I’m learning how to make cheesecake.” They all chuckled.
Sam leaned against Hatter and he looked up at her. “If my girl wants cheesecake, I’ll help make cheesecake,” Hatter said. Sam grinned at him.
“Oh,” Dodo said setting his glass down on the counter. “I found something in the library that I want to show you!” he told Alexa. Dodo offered her his hand and helped her down. He walked her around towards the table.
“Oh, yeah?” Alexa asked, her hand still in his. “What did you find?” She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
“That book you were telling me about the other day. Who Killed Amanda Palmer,” he said.
Delighted shock took over Alexa’s face and she froze. “No,” she whispered with a huge grin. Dodo nodded. Alexa kissed him and squealed “You perfect man!”
“You’re making me cheesecake. I think that is pretty perfect,” Sam said to Hatter.
Severus stormed into the kitchen, pushing Alexa out of the way as he made his way out the other door. “Hey!” Dodo yelled while Alexa asked “Severus?”
He ignored them both. Sam hopped down from the counter. She and Hatter flanked Alexa and Dodo. Alexa ran off after Severus, calling his name and begging him to answer her. He wouldn’t Dodo was right behind her and Sam and Hatter where behind him. Remus heard Alexa cry out while he was in the library.
“What’s going on?” Remus asked, stopping Sam. Hatter continued on after them.
“We don’t know. Severus just freaked out and he won’t answer Alexa,” Sam said, the worry was clear in her voice.
Remus put a hand on her arm. “It’ll be alright,” he promised her. The corner of Sam’s mouth turned up in a smile. “Come on, let’s go see what we can do.”
They found the others in the front room. Severus was inches away from the door. Alexa was a foot or so away from him. Dodo and Hatter stayed behind her. Dodo was watching Alexa and Severus carefully, his hand already on his gun, but Hatter sensed Sam walk in. He turned just enough to shake his head, warning her not to come any closer. She and Remus stayed on the stairs.
“Severus, please,” Alexa begged. She sounded small and destroyed. Sam couldn’t see Alexa’s face but she was sure that her friend was in tears. The sort of tears that you tried to ignore because they would make you seem weak when you most wanted to be strong. “D-don’t do this,” she begged. Alexa took half a step closer and Severus reached for the door handle. Alexa froze again.
“You don’t love me,” He said. It was an accusation; not a fact.
Alexa’s shoulders rose and her hands were balled into fists. “Your wrong,” She said shaking her head. “I do love you. I do. Severus, you’ll die. I-I can’t live with-
“You can’t live with what? Without me? Or having my death on your conscience?” He asked. Alexa seemed to shrink again. “Admit it. The reason that you came back for me was because you didn’t want to harbor the guilt of abandoning me.”
“No, Severus. That isn’t true,” She was speaking very softly. Sam could hardly hear her. Remus wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling her close, almost protectively.
“It is, Alexa. I love you; I’ll always love you. But I won’t be second. I won’t.” And then the door was open and Alexa was stepping forward and crying out “No!” It was deep guttural moan. Dodo was on her in seconds, Hatter was just behind. They held her back. Remus was holding Sam against him and she was hiding her face. The door swung shut. There was a bang.
Alexa finally managed to writhe out of Dodo and Hatter’s arms. She fell before the door and gave herself over to soft, silent sobs. “No,” She muttered under her breath. “Severus, no.” Alexa kept drying her tears, trying to convince herself that she was not crying and that this was not happening.
Sam knelt down beside Alexa and put her hand on her friends back. Alexa wrapped her arms around her and cried into her shoulder. Sam rubbed Alexa’s back and tried to calm her, but she herself was not anything resembling calm. Severus was gone. Dead.